Most of us start disconnecting with who we really are, as a human being, in a bid to fit in. During our growing up years, we are taught to “conform” to certain ways of behaving, and perceiving, through our parents, teachers and religious institutions. Our attitude, preferences, behavior and aptitude is compared with others, we are made to feel inferior or superior based on these comparisons.
The education system, in many countries, does not focus on guiding the “creativity”, or natural inclination present in a child but is more inclined towards a narrow judgment of intelligence which causes many children to develop an inferiority complex towards themselves and also causes them to disconnect with the natural inclination while focusing on using “hard work” and effort to score grades to impress the parents, teachers and peers.
To stand true to one’s own individuality, in the midst of all these comparisons and pressures can be quite difficult for a child especially since they are so dependent on the parents and the society for their upbringing. Also a child is not conscious enough to really have the conviction in pursuing his/her heart’s calling and thus is more prone to just allow the external environment to influence his/her movement.
By the time we are adults in our mid twenties or thirties, many of us are quite clueless about who we are as an individual and what our actual preferences are in terms of career, relationship and lifestyle. We try to copy others, or try to conform to certain set standards of living, and hence become “monotonous” in our way of living. This causes a conflict between our heart’s calling and our mind’s “external conditioning” created through trying to conform, and mostly we just follow the external conditioning out of “fear” and we try to suppress our natural inclinations.
This internal conflict causes us to attract a conflicted reality on the outside and hence we find ourselves in a job we don’t like, in a relationship that does not feel right and in a lifestyle that seems to sap our energy daily – in simple words, we manifest a reality that does not suit us. Unless you take the courage to stand true to who you are, and move towards aligning back with your heart’s calling, you will find that you are not be able to attract reality that feels congruent with who you are.
Life can orchestrate events in a manner as to create a reality that matches your individual preference, but first you need to align with yourself and let go of holding on to thoughts of conformity. You have to be yourself fully for your external reality to reflect this congruence back at you. Sometimes it takes courage and conviction to stand true to who you are, rather than succumb to the pressures of the external circumstances, but when you take the inner stand to align with yourself life takes care of arranging your external reality to match your preference.
Love of Wisdom Blog 