Being nice is good but being nice all the time will mess- up your life. We cannot live life accepting every deal, every relationship, consenting to every request, taking every bull-crap; to do such one will end up being miserable. Have you ever said “no” to someone and after such response you felt eased; have you ever confronted a jackass and after such heated confrontation they backed off your life for good; have you ever turned down something that looked important and urgent only to later realize you avoided something deceptive.
Displeasing people is difficult because from childhood most people are raised to always be nice and sweet. Displeasing people is also intimidating because of the anger, hatred, resentment and even desire for revenge that may lie in wait. We increasingly find it difficult to say “no” when something or someone is not compatible with us, we tolerate all kinds of imbalances exposing ourselves to harm. Without knowing when to displease people we fall to every hoax, endure bad behaviors, and with such weakness we would be taken for granted.
An example would be a woman who has a swindler as a husband who takes her for granted and sabotages her every effort. Where she builds he destroys, when she saves he spends, she is devoted and reliable while he is reckless. With all such signs she cannot displease him by leaving him behind or throwing him out of her life. She believes she has to be nice and endure until her health and life gets ruined. When we realize we have made poor choices in life we should never feel stuck because there are always other choices. People suffer because they cannot put their feet to the ground and say enough is enough.
No one is chained to suffer under the indiscipline of anyone only a slave and there are a lot of modern slaves who will keep docile even when someone is ruining their lives. Timid children pray to God to kill their bully or tormentor in school the next day which will not happen; until they put their fears in order and deal with such jackass in a ferocious manner. Adults endure the worst possible torture because they cannot say enough is enough and feel the dissatisfaction that will lead them to change. It takes real courage to make certain decisions.
When we learn to say “no”, to assert ourselves, to be unpleasant when the situation calls for it; we will feel relieved from a lot of agony in our lives. A flash of anger can end the humiliation that has lasted for years, the words “enough is enough” can put an end to the most toxic relationship; rudeness can sometimes send the wrong people out of your life. Being nice all the time is only a receipt for misery, we must set boundaries and when such are breached reenforce them in a firm way. The road to happiness in this world is not an easy passage, only the brave, the fearless will live in such a way that denotes freedom.
Copyright 2020 © Love of Wisdom Blog
Love of Wisdom Blog 